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Parents are grateful for opportunity to share son's life
One of Kathy Doney's favorite memories of her son Chad takes place on a summer day at his grandparents' ranch near Bozeman, Montana. Kathy says simply: “For the first time, they let him hay. They put him on the tractor and just let him do it.” It was a rite of passage. “His brother Scott was two years older and always got to do everything first,” Kathy explains. “Scott got his truck first, did everything first. So Chad worried, I think, a little bit about doing things as well. It was great to see that he had the confidence to drive that tractor.”
Dependable and hard-working, Chad Doney also
was friendly and caring — qualities that endeared
him to people of all ages.
But when Chad died suddenly at the age of 20 in Oct. 1998, it was Scott who knew exactly what his younger brother would have asked him to do: offer his tissues and organs for donation and help as many people as possible. When Scott flew home from Fairbanks, Alaska, to his parents' home in Havre, Montana, he advocated for donation. “He was very strong, very sure that this is what Chad would want,” says Kathy, adding, “Both of our sons are so precious to us.”
Scott wasn't alone in suggesting donation. According to Kathy, her husband Bob had always said, “If anything ever happens, this is what we should do.” Bob asked about the possibility of donation even before hospital staff brought it up.
“Of course, you never think it's the end,” says Kathy, recalling the wrenching hours when her son, a vigorous young man with a warm smile, curly hair and eyes “as blue as the ocean,” was on life support in intensive care. “You don't think you'll ever find yourself in that position.” But in the midst of their shock and grief, the Doneys generously pursued donation. “They told us that we could help many, many people,” Kathy says.
So far surgeons have transplanted Chad's tissues in 29 life-enhancing surgeries that benefited patients in Washington, Oregon, Montana and California.
Chad's donations helped people who suffered from tumors, trauma, or congenital or degenerative conditions, constant pain, limited use of limbs, or bouts with cancer.
A soft heart and a black-cherry truck “I love talking about Chad,” says Kathy. “He was a loving, caring boy, very soft-hearted. Young children were drawn to him. He was like the Pied Piper; he just loved little kids and they loved him.”
Dependable and hard-working, “Chad also loved to entertain,” says Kathy. “There was a Foosball table in the middle of his kitchen.” In addition to working part-time at a tire store, Chad was a junior at the University of Montana-Northern, aiming for a degree in construction engineering. “He'd discovered that working for $5.75 an hour didn't get you very far,” Kathy says with a laugh.
Chad also took a lot of pride in his truck, a black-cherry 1978 Chevy shortbox, which he had rebuilt. And like many Montanans, he loved to hunt and fish.
He spent much of the day he died with his mother, helping her rake leaves and shopping with her. “He knew we loved him. People loved him and he had a lot of friends,” she says. “About 20 kids from Havre came to the intensive care unit to be with him. The doctors just let them come in.”
A living legacy In addition to tissue, his parents also consented to donate Chad's organs and corneas. Afterward, the Doneys became interested in finding out more about organ recipients, and the man who had received Chad's heart was likewise drawn to inquire about them. Fifty-eight-year-old Douglas Fenton of Blaine, Washington, had been suffering from congestive heart failure for years; he'd been admitted to the University of Washington Medical Center in July, 1998, waiting to receive a transplanted heart.
After two months in the hospital, “I was pretty much prepared to die,” says Fenton, a former pilot with the Royal Canadian Air Force. “I had said goodbyes and made peace with my maker. I was ready to go if that was what was in store for me.”
Fenton and the Doneys corresponded through LifeCenter Northwest for almost three years. Remarkably, they decided at the same time that they wanted to meet each other. Each side had written a letter suggesting an in-person meeting; the letters crossed in the mail.
Last August, the Doneys traveled to Blaine to see Fenton and his family. “They were so appreciative, I just can't tell you,” says Kathy. “It's quite a reward to know that Chad lives on. Of course we miss Chad dearly, but we were grateful that at least we had the opportunity to make this decision, to share life.”